We have arrived – way early – to the island in the middle of nowhere – quite seriously!  There are clouds and some wispy fog this morning as the ship approaches St. Helena, but by the time we are ready to head out on our ship’s tour excursion, the skies are sunny and there is a lovely wind. 

We head to the Cabaret and check in with Roma and Myra, getting our Bus #1 stickers along with Gary and Laura.  And of course 7055 – wonder how they are going to do the front seats in little teeny buses on this island?  Guess we’ll find out.

As we wait for our group to be called, the room starts filling up with other tour participants.  More and more file into the Cabaret, and we start getting antsy as we watch the tenders just circle around in the water with no one getting on them.  Ed keeps going outside to check, another passenger says that Guest Relations told him there was a delay because of the swells; the Shore Ex gals haven’t heard that.  We end up going down to deck 3 to stand in line to get on the tender anyway and after about 5 minutes, Ngawhira comes down and tells us that the Captain is going to make an announcement about a delay in getting off the ship due to the seas.  Bummer!

So while the weather looks promising, unfortunately the seas do not! You can see how hard the waves are breaking on the island, so it is no wonder there is a problem.  The Captain tells us that it will take about an hour to rearrange everything and that we are going to tender into the larger commercial port, not the main wharf in the town of Jamestown.  And just to add to the complexity, the road to Jamestown is under construction and possibly closed.  Huh?  Well this should be interesting.  Bless those Shore Ex gals – they’ve got their work cut out for them! 

So now we have an hour to hang out and do nothing – or play trivia if one was so inclined.  We are not.  But it gives us a great bonus – time to go up on deck and take some great photos of Jamestown, nestled there in the valley between two huge volcanic ridges.  You can even see Jacobs Ladder, the old incline lift that was once used to haul manure and send goods up and down the steep hill which has now been turned into steps – 699 steps to be exact – that stretches from the floor of the valley to the top of the cliff.  Just beautiful.

Eventually everything is ready and we are released to the tenders.  The ride over to the pier is surprisingly smooth, the swells are much more pronounced at the shoreline, which proves to be challenging for the tender pilot to dock and then for us to get off.  We have to time our step off with the swells.  Phew.  That was a production!  And then, as we get up onto the dock we find we don’t have a bus.  What?  Martyna the Shore Ex manager has us wait on the other side of the pier, then says she needs 2 volunteers to get on Bus #5 and 2 to get on Bus #6.  Maybe we will have a littler bus? No, apparently our bus is no longer – and we are all split up onto different buses.  Well bummer.  We end up on bus 11 and wave goodbye to Gary and Laura who are on #12.  

And off we go on an adventure – and what an adventure. Even though we are just one ridge over from Jamestown. we might as well be in another country!  There is no direct way to get there – or anywhere on the island to be honest.  So we sit back and look out at gorgeous vistas as our little bus wheezes its way up steep little roads, traversing one volcanic ridge and then another.

The scenery is amazing, and it is amazing to think only 4500 people live here – what an existence!  45 minutes later, we arrive at Longwood, Napoleon’s last residence in exile.  The house is surrounded by beautiful garden with some of the prettiest flowers; it is a joy to be out of the bus and walking through the beautiful sunshine and greenery. 

We are not allowed photos inside the house, so we just walk through, or I should say shuffle through, since we are now one of the last buses to arrive and the place is jam packed.  It is a large house from a footprint standpoint, but all the rooms are fairly small, and filled with artwork and paintings, large pieces of furniture – like the billiards table Napoleon used pretty much as a huge desk with books and maps placed atop it, he apparently never used it to play billiards.  We also see his death bed, desk mask and other beds he used (he had insomnia and had a bed and recliner in the sitting room in addition to his bedroom.  It is interesting, but so crowded. 

The tour ends up at the gift shop, of course, which is so crowded we don’t even bother going in – we’re happier out in the beautiful weather and gardens – now totally devoid of people! TIE! We spend the rest of our time wandering the pretty grounds, taking in the gorgeous scenery and finding a cool little garden house that has an old mural painted on the wall, making us think Cornelia Vanderbilt was here and painting the walls like she did in the basement of the Biltmore! 

At the appointed time, we are back at the bus. But we are missing a few people.  We should have known then what was in store for us, but we’re still just happy to be able to be here, and not really thinking about consequences of a ship tour.  Abigail our sweet young tour guide goes to round up the stragglers and we finally depart, on our way to Napoleon’s grave – or tomb as they call it because his body was shipped back to France in 1840. Along the way, glimpsing more beautiful scenery and glances of St. Helena life.

At the grave/tomb, we find out that we will not be stopping in Jamestown.  What? Gary and Laura told us their guide told them they were not stopping there.  Abigail confirms, telling us we won’t have enough time and the tour goes back to Rupert’s Bay where we got off the tenders.  If there is still time, we can take a shuttle back into town.  Um, no. Not happening.  Bummer.  We had really hoped we could go into Jamestown to explore.  Sigh. Oh well, what can you do? Not our decision.  On we go with the tour, walking down a long, fairly steep path to view the tomb.  It’s very pretty here and green with great views across the Sane Valley. Napoleon liked this valley, and visited it frequently, which is why his grave was placed here. 

Interesting stop, and great exercise! That path was long and steep – we are all huffing and puffing as we make it to the top.  Plus along the way, I get to play photographer with the photographer who wants his picture taken on a log in the woods.  I can do that – and I’m only a little intimidated!  He’s too sweet – like everyone on this crew.  Just so nice.

Our next stop is a surprise – it wasn’t on the original itinerary – Sandy Bay Ridges.  Here we get an excellent view of the Ridges that lead to the sea featuring Lot (the large rock outcropping in the forefront) and Lot’s Wife (the little narrow outcropping on the far ridge).  Abigail tells us we are lucky, because most times the ridges are so fogged in you can’t see anything. 

Back in the bus, we head in the direction of Jamestown, stopping at the Plantation House, the Governor’s residence, to see the giant tortoises.  In particular, Jonathan, the 191 (-ish – no one knows for sure how old he is!) year old tortoise who is out and about in the yard.  He is amazing, walking through grass, essentially like a slow-motion prehistoric monster!  There is also another tortoise closer to the fence who is ambling over to get a drink of water from a little pond there.  They are just such fascinating beasts.

Corralling everyone back on the bus is a challenge.  This group does not listen to Abigail, or really just follow along with her timing.  They just meander around and then leisurely wander back to the bus. So frustrating!  Everyone finally gets onboard and we are off to Jacob’s ladder.  But we are now the absolute last bus of this 12 bus tour.  No wonder we won’t have time to spend in Jamestown. Sigh.

Onto Jacob’s Ladder we go, passing neighborhoods and houses – and we actually have a sighting of the rare Wirebird!  There are only 500 known on the island and we saw one!  LOL. 

Jacob’s Ladder is absolutely the best!  The views are spectacular – and that staircase!  699 steps, 40% incline, only 600 feet high and about a thousand feet long.  But oh, that incline.  There is an annual race held and the fastest time to ascend – ascend mind you – is 5 minutes and 16 seconds!  5 minutes!! Yeah, we won’t even try going down the thing, much less going up it – and we sure wouldn’t make it in 5 minutes either way. 

Regardless, the lookout gives us excellent views of the entire staircase as well as all of Jamestown nestled into between the ridges. Fabulous.

Sadly though, the group we are with is not so fabulous. Once again they dawdle and linger and bless sweet little Abigail’s heart, she is not the best tour manager.  So while all of us are sitting on the bus waiting, she and 2 of the more recalcitrant passengers are standing around talking on the overlook balcony.  If we ever had a chance of stopping in Jamestown, its not happening now.  Oh, and btw, the two who are holding us up?  They are the ones who complained the loudest about not being able to go to Jamestown.  Yeah. Don’t get on that bus! 

The drive down the cliffside is scary – these bus drivers are amazing!  On one side of the little, narrow road is a big rock wall overlooking the sheer drop off to the town, on the other the rock cliff face, and it is two-ways!  Meaning we stop frequently to let other cars pass us going up the hill.  No wonder it takes forever to get anywhere.

We actually do drive through Jamestown – so we at least get to see it up close, if not in detail. We pass an old gothic church, but can’t get photos – the angle is all wrong.  We are able to get a little glimpse of some of the older buildings and the town square, where we circle around to get on the road that will lead us back to the top of the ridge and to the port.

What really stinks though is that the other earlier buses are in town and parked, meaning those passengers actually got to walk around Jamestown and explore.  Not us though – sigh. We did get to see more than we ever expected and the whole day has been reorganized because of the swells.  We’ll just leave it at that (and I won’t go on a rant about the other tour participants).

Our last stop is at a lookout point for the heart shaped waterfall – which has no water at this time of year.  It does give us a great view back down to the harbor where we can see the Pursuit waiting for us – and a view over the valley for the heart shaped rocks and Briars Pavilion where Napoleon was first housed. 

But Abigail has given us 15 minutes here…um…for what?  It is lovely, but a 5-minute stop at best.  Finally we are all back on the bus when the jerk next to us (who keeps standing up and sticking his backside in my face while he arranges himself to slowly get off the bus) asks if everyone saw Briars Pavilion.   To which a couple people squeal, no!  And Abigail lets them get off the bus for a photo. Ok – we’ve just about had it now.  First of all, there is a huge photo and sign at the lookout pointing out all the things to see (see below) – you cannot miss it – so what in the hell were these people doing or looking at up there?

Secondly, it is now way after 3pm and we really just want to get back to the ship.  Because of the delay and the port change, etc., we’ve not been able to eat any lunch and we didn’t have too much for breakfast, assuming incorrectly that we would be having lunch in town (if we tendered into the original town wharf).  So we are starving and we are starting to get a little hangry and fed up with this busload of folks.  Sigh.  Finally, Abigail gets everyone back onto the bus and we head back to Rupert’s Bay, passing more stunning scenery along the way.

We arrive just as a tender is pulling out, but there is another one right there so it isn’t much of a wait to start to try to board.  But oh my!  It is tricky.  We have to go one at a time and once again wait until the tender comes up to you from the swell.  It’s fine for some of us, but not for most, so boarding takes a while.  And then there is the one doofus who won’t sit down.  He’s the last guy on the tender and the crew is calling to him telling him to sit, his wife is telling him to sit, other passengers are telling him to sit and he just stands there like a boob.  Finally the tender, which is bobbing up and down like a cork, bobs into the dock and almost sends him flying, and lo and behold he realizes he had better sit down.  Eek. 

We all, somehow, make it back to the ship unscathed.  We run straight up to the Patio which has been kept open later than usual because of the delays.  They have additional food up there, but since it is now 4pm, we go with a salad, just to have something in our stomachs.  We’ll be eating again in a couple hours, but if we’re going to have a beer and wine, we’ll need something in there or we’ll be falling down drunk – and not because of the swells!

The rest of the evening goes on smoothly – gym, pretty sailaway….

…then dinner, drinks in the Living Room with Back on Traxx, and then the cabin for Netflix night.  A pretty decent day by all accounts (tour bus notwithstanding!).