We really never thought we’d be able to come to Israel, what with all the rockets being fired all over  the place,  but obviously whatever tenuous cease fire there is has been deemed safe enough, and here we are.  Let the fun begin!  We are on a ship’s tour because as before, it is A) free with the onboard credits we must use, and B)  if rockets do start flying around, we want to be with the cruise tour because they’ll be in touch with the ship and know if we have to leave early.  Can’t be too safe these days!

So, we get our stickers and are the first ones off the ship, with another couple desperate  to get past us to be first.  Sigh. Always someone.  We get through passport control easy enough, then there is a secondary check, and that guard took forever to review our landing cards. I mean really? We just came through the face to face and our cards were just printed, what are you looking at!!  Meanwhile, desperate couple is still trying to outmaneuver us.  Not going to happen!

We get to the bus first, but there is a huge CF with us just getting on the bus. We are so early, they weren’t prepared for us yet and they are having a tour guide meeting on our bus.  They finally disperse and we boarded, taking the 2nd row because we always leave the 1st row for handicapped or people who need it. Did asshole rushing couple do that? Of course not! They are right up in the first row – people with mobility issues be damned.  Sigh.

Our guide, who has yet to introduce himself, begins to hand out our whisperers and makes us check them – that took forever! The 2^nd bus, bus #10 left before us it took so long.  And then we’re off, still with un-named guide  who is now just handing out maps. Then the driver goes to a gate where we can’t exit and had to turn around and go somewhere else. Not a very auspicious start to our day, we must tell you!

We finally get to a gate where we can exit, and after getting a grilling from the guard – sigh, really? – we are finally on the road and only then does the guide starts to talk!  His name is Rafael and he says he is a singer, not a tour guide.  LOL.  He does sing us a song, but actually he’s been doing this for 20 years and has studied theology and art history and turns out to be an excellent guide – who we fall in love with immediately because he says ay yi yi a lot!

On our nearly 1 hour drive into Jerusalem, Rafael imparts all sorts of facts about Israel – there is a population of10 million; 7.5 million are Jews, 2 million Arabs and 245k Christian.  He goes on to explain Reformed (40%) and conservative (another 40%) and the remaining 20% Orthodox (12% who only wear their yarmulke, but dress contemporarily, 8% who are totally Hassidic with the beards and the hair).  He also goes into a long explanation of the diamond cutting business with which I will not bore you.  We also learn that Israel was the first to grow cherry tomatoes and the first to grow seedless watermelon.  Fruits and vegetables are huge sources of income for the country.

Rafael also explains that today is the beginning of Shauvot – the week of the feasts – celebrating the harvest and bringing the Torah from Mt. Sinai so we should expect traffic to increase as the day goes on.  There is nothing now, but that is because the holiday doesn’t begin until sundown.  Good for us now – this afternoon? Who knows.  Another reason to be on a ship’s tour!

Our first stop is the Mount of Olives where we have a fabulous view out across the valley to the Old walled city of Jerusalem. You can see the Dome of the Rock (the gold dome) and the Church of the Holy Sepulchre (the smaller dark dome across the city).  You can also see the sprawl of the new city spreading out up on the hills and in the valleys surrounding the old city. Almost a million people in the city – and you can tell it from the buildings all squeezed into a relatively small footprint!

Next we are off to the Gethsemane Church, also called the Church of Agony (because it is here that Jesus was betrayed and arrested) and the Church of all Nations (because so many nations provided contributions for the mosaics in the apses and cupolas in 1919). But first we have a rest stop that has fabulous views of the East wall of the old city, the Mount of Olives cemetery and the Golden Gate – or the gates of Mercy leading into old Jerusalem.  Rafael explains that the Gates of Mercy are where the Messiah will enter the Old City upon his return, which is why in addition to the Jewish cemetery, there is also a small Christian cemetery below us and a Muslim cemetery up on the hill.  Everyone wants to be close to the Gates when the salvation occurs to be able to follow the Messiah. 

Crossing the street en masse (these guys are actually pretty good at listening to instructions…..so far….), we enter into a beautiful garden filled with olive trees and flowers. The church is built in a Romanesque Revivalism and neo-Brick Gothic (ok, technical terms, I think it looks Greek Orthodox – but what do I know?) with those beautiful aforementioned mosaics everywhere.  There is some sort of service going on when we enter, which makes it difficult (and a little disrespectful) to take a lot of photos, but we still do.  It is an extraordinarily beautiful church – and even if we don’t get to see the Rock of Agony directly in front of the altar (due to the service – they are actually doing communion soon after we arrive), it is still an amazing place with marble pillars, deep blue mosaic ceilings (with different country seals in each cupola indicating the country gave contributions) and some incredible stained glass and metal windows.

Back outside in the garden, we pass the oldest olive tree in the world at 1500 years old.   in church courtyard, then circle the garden, skirting the exterior of the church with magnificent stonework and old bell tower. 

Returning to the bus, we are off to Bethlehem now. Normally we would have to change guides because we are going to Palestine and most guides can only do tours in one country or the other.  We are lucky in that Rafael is licensed in both and works for the tourism ministry, so he can stay with us the whole day. On the way to the checkpoints, Rafael tells us that Bethlehem means the house of bread, and it is the place of King David’s birth.  (Yeah, I’m sure everyone knows this – but as with history – you know how I am with religion, so it’s all news to me.  Ok, I probably learned it in Sunday School, but since I only went for 2 years – and I was 7 years old, yeah.  Not a memory that has stuck!)

At any rate, we get through the checkpoint all right, heading into Palestine.  As we enter, we see signs everywhere advising that Israeli citizens are forbidden to enter certain areas.  This is serious stuff – but then again – we’ve seen that over the years from afar so there shouldn’t be any surprise, but it is still pretty weird to have it in your face like that.  Due to the low pay here on the Palestinian side, and the benefits offered in Israel many Palestinians work in Israel and cross over every day.  The pay is something like 3 or 4 times as much as over here.

Driving in you can see the fence built to separate the countries, and the Israeli sprawl beyond what appears to be a no man’s zone stretching across the valley. 

Arriving at the Church of Nativity, the guards give Rafael a hard time about guiding us.  He shows them his credentials then has a relatively heated discussion with them before we are allowed to enter through this little low door cut into the side of the church.  This was done so that the general populace couldn’t bring their animals into the church area.  In the old days, many residents were disrespectful of the church and its religion, so they didn’t care about bringing the animals in. These doorways were the solution to those problems!

Once inside, we walk through the Greek orthodox chapel with huge marble columns and a lot of gold.  The wood framed roof is original (amazing it has lasted this long!) and there are more mosaics -mostly gold hued – here along the upper walls.  There is also a part of the original mosaic tile from the original floor of the cathedral that has been preserved.  It is in this general area where Jesus was born – there is a grotto underneath the altar in front of us, called the Star of Bethlehem (I believe) that we may or may not see.  Rafael says the lines can become very long with upwards of a 3 hour wait.  If the wait is an hour or less, we will go.  If longer, we will not.

For now, though, we are just exploring the church.  There is a ceremony going on in the Armenian chapel that I sneak over and video, but when Rafael wants to take the entire group in there, the guards will not allow us to go.  These guys are serious!  And mean!  Really.  They don’t make you feel comfortable at all in any way, shape or form.

Okie dokie, so we’ll just head over to the Roman Catholic side then.  There is a lovely courtyard with a statue of Hieronymus (reminding us of Bosch – the detective from the Michael Connelly series whose first name is Hieronymus, just like the painter who his mom loved – which is why he was named that!). Excitement abounds as Ed gets called into service as a stand in guide with the number paddle when Rafael goes to cajole these Guards into letting us in!  The guards relent, Ed hands over his scepter and we enter into the cathedral which is beautiful, but so stark in comparison to all the other chapels we have visited today!  And here again there is another ceremony going on.  Rafael says we are blessed because of all the ceremonies in every chapel we visit. 

After a few minutes of wandering, Rafael collects us and we start walking back to the bus.  No Grotto visit for us apparently!  Guess the line was too long.  Walking down the street, we can’t resist snapping photos of the 2 different coffee shops that have done a riff on Starbucks.  Too funny!  And as one of the other passengers (Dancing lady as we call her – she was the star of the Indian dancing show) says, they probably have better coffee!  Hear, hear!

Next we have our obligatory shopping stop at the sanctioned souvenir store that has everything from pricey jewelry to equally pricey olive wood carvings and accessories.  We’ve already got enough olive wood thank you, and all purchased far more cheaply than this stuff.  The only bonus is that outside the store, we get a look at the security wall that has been built around Palestine to keep others out.  Rafael says it has saved lives – so we’ll leave it at that.  It still really drives home the separation and frightening aspects of life here though.

After shopping, we head back through another checkpoint to Israel. Here they stop every car, checking passengers and IDs and trunks of cars.  Soldiers with automatic weapons no less.  They are exceptionally easy with us – but Rafael has a special relationship with these folks apparently – the lady soldier who questions us is Ethiopian (Rafael says Israel has accepted over 200,000 Ethiopian Jews so far) and she smiles and laughs with Rafael and just waves us through.  Phew. 

Then we are back into Jerusalem, skirting the old city walls on our way to the Olive Tree Hotel where we have an excellent buffet lunch.  And I mean excellent!  The place is massive – and there must be 50+ buses here.  It seems every tour from every ship, every tour group in the country comes here. But they handle it beautifully.  The buffet is always stocked and the selection is incredible.  There is this salad section with everything from eggplant spread to sesame noodles to green salad and pickles and Feta cheese and olives.  I didn’t even look at the hot prepared food!  The salad was so good I went back for seconds!  Ed had both salads and meat and deemed them both excellent.  Add on a pay for ($5 USD!!!) beer and free white wine – and we were happy little campers.  Oh and some really nice light desserts.  But not honey cake, which I was really jonesing for.  Will just have to make that when we get home!

Lunch completed – we head for the Old City and the Western Wall (or Wailing Wall).  The location of the beginning of the world and the first Temple (according to tradition), the wall was destroyed by various occupations and finally taken back into Israeli possession in 1967 after Israeli forces battled to liberate the Old City.  It has always been a place of pilgrimage, and even more so since the liberation.  Rafael tells us that the Muslim area of the city is right behind the wall and that occasionally stones will come raining down on this side of the wall, thrown from the Muslim side.  Good thing to look out for, thanks!  The Wall is split between men and women (as the temples are) so we dutifully separate and head to our respective areas.  Strangely the women’s area was far more crowded than the men’s.  The women’s area was smaller, but not by that much – it was just weird.  And so many people were just there for selfies and pictures.  I actually said my prayers and then walked backwards, always facing the wall, to leave.  Taking a picture of myself there just wasn’t right – not with all the true believers trying to actually pray.

Once we had all regrouped, we started walking into the little crowded lanes of the Old City, finally reaching Via Dolorosa to walk the Stations of the Cross.  We start at Station III (for some reason, and Rafael told us “they” might make us start there – who “they” are, we’ll never know) and continued through the increasingly crowded streets to all the rest of the stations. And no, I’m not going to do the whole explanation of each station – if you know them, you know them. If you don’t? I’m not going to be helpful here, sorry!

We pass some great architecture on our way to the Church of the Holy Sepulchre – along with a great spice pyramid display!

And then we are in the Church.  Oh lord (yeah, pun intended) if we thought it was crowded out there?  Oh no. In here – it is worth your life just to get onto the staircase to go upstairs to the Altar that has been erected over the place where Jesus on the cross was placed.  The chapel up here is gorgeous, with immense amounts of gold and silver and mosaics depicting more Stations of the Cross. But trying to see it without being smothered or trampled was a feat!  We managed – and I even managed to get all the way to the altar and get underneath it for a photo of the cross location (quite the triumph!) but then we just went to the back corner near the staircase to get out of the way.  Crazy town in there!

Making our way down the steps to the equally crazy crowded main floor, we stop to look at the stone where Jesus was washed and prepared for burial.  The stone has rose oil rubbed into it, and when you rub your hand over it, you can smell it.  There are beautiful cupolas and mosaics and hanging lanterns all over. 

And of course, the tomb where Jesus was placed only to be missing when Mary came to see him the next day!  It is empty, of course, but you can still go inside.  If you dare.  We say that because the line is forever long – easily 500 people long. And they only allow 4 people in at a time.  Oh yeah.  You’d be there until well past the time the ship sails!  Needless to say, we are not allowed to even contemplate going in – not that we’d want to. We already figured we’d tell Rafael we’d meet him at the Gate if he said the group was going in!  Fortunately we didn’t have to make that decision.

Rafael managed to corral us all and walk us out into the market streets once more.  Not without excitement though. As we are threading our way through the crowded street, a fight broke out between a bunch of boys, one of whom was on a bike with a helmet.  He was being picked on, I think, but whatever happened he started fighting back hard, swinging his really hard helmet everywhere!  We all tried to scatter, but it became a brawl with at least 5 boys of varying sizes joining in.  I got a glancing blow on my arm with the helmet, but Dancing Lady and Man were in the thick of it, she got hit really hard, and he had his whisperer ripped off his neck.  Crazy!  We managed to escape with only those little bruises, but it was a little frightening to say the least.

Finally safely ensconced on the bus, we start the drive back to the ship, passing a bizarrely constructed bridge – it looks like only one side has been completed, just strange – and onto the highway that gives us a really good long view of the sprawl of Jerusalem.  It’s a big city!

No further incidents ensued and we made it safely back to the ship – the first bus to do so actually – to be greeted with beers and margarita cocktails (you can tell the demographics of this ship – no champagne for you!  Aussies prefer beer and hard liquor!) then upstairs to the Sunset bar for real drinks and dinner in Discoveries and the Canadian Comedian on the TV who is excellent.  Very funny!

Two days left – cannot believe it!